I found some here. My favorites:
Q: How do you get a French waiter's attention?
A: Start ordering in German.
Q: Why do the French like smelly cheeses?
A: Well, in a room full of French people, you can't really smell the cheese.
"A Frenchmen's home is where another man's wife is." - Mark Twain -1878-79 Journal
I got a tip for you , if you install the french versions of your favorite programs, THEY RUN A LOT FASTER
The makers of French's Mustard made the following recent statement: "We at the French's Company wish to put an end to statements that our product is manufactured in France. There is no relationship, nor has there ever been a relationship, between our mustard and the country of France. Indeed, our mustard is manufactured in Rochester, NY. The only thing we have in common is that we are both yellow".
Why wouldn't the Statue of Liberty work in France? Because she has only one arm raised.
How do you separate the men from the boys in France? With a crowbar.
Hey ! Do you know what's the difference between a Frenchman and a chimpanzee ? - One of them is hairy, stinky, and scratches his ass all the time. The other is a chimpanzee.
Why do the french get more votes in the U.N. They vote with both hands
During WW2, the French resistance fighters, in their finest hour, bravely threw sticks of dynamite at the advancing German troops. The Germans then lit them and threw them back.
Q. Why don't cheesburgers sell well in France
A. Because they don't smell like crap.
Q. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France
A.They do not know how to say "CHARGE!"
Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous Frenchmen? People were confused about which side to spit on.
Q. What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in common?
A. Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless.
Q. Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are French children?
A. Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have mustaches!!
Q. What is the most useful thing in the French Army?
A. A rearview mirror, so they can see the war.
Q. Why do the french call their fighter the *Mirage*?
A. Because it doesn't really exist.
The French; they are a funny race, they fight with their feet, and fuck with their face!
Q. how can you tell if a frechmen has been in your backyard?
A. your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant!
Why wasn't Jesus born in france? Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.
The French are to warfare what the British are to cooking
Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. All of them: One to screw the bulb in, the rest to brag about how great the French are at screwing.
Q. Did you hear about the French submarine with a screen door?
A. Don't laugh... it keeps the fish out.
Q. What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other?
A. A bisexual.
A French and American general were surveying a battlefield. A bullet strikes the American general, grazing his arm. He shouts "Aide! Bring me my red jacket!" The French general asks "Why did you do that?" The American general responds "So my men don't see that I'm bleeding, and lose hope." A second bullet narrowly misses the French general's ear, and he shouts: "Aide! Bring me my brown trousers!"
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Yeah, call me a racist pig. But at least its just the French.
Racist pig? If it's any other race, that's racist. But with the french, it's just sexist.
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