I found some here. My favorites:
Q: How do you get a French waiter's attention?
A: Start ordering in German.
Q: Why do the French like smelly cheeses?
A: Well, in a room full of French people, you can't really smell the cheese.
"A Frenchmen's home is where another man's wife is." - Mark Twain -1878-79 Journal
I got a tip for you , if you install the french versions of your favorite programs, THEY RUN A LOT FASTER
The makers of French's Mustard made the following recent statement: "We at the French's Company wish to put an end to statements that our product is manufactured in France. There is no relationship, nor has there ever been a relationship, between our mustard and the country of France. Indeed, our mustard is manufactured in Rochester, NY. The only thing we have in common is that we are both yellow".
Why wouldn't the Statue of Liberty work in France? Because she has only one arm raised.
How do you separate the men from the boys in France? With a crowbar.
Hey ! Do you know what's the difference between a Frenchman and a chimpanzee ? - One of them is hairy, stinky, and scratches his ass all the time. The other is a chimpanzee.
Why do the french get more votes in the U.N. They vote with both hands
During WW2, the French resistance fighters, in their finest hour, bravely threw sticks of dynamite at the advancing German troops. The Germans then lit them and threw them back.
Q. Why don't cheesburgers sell well in France
A. Because they don't smell like crap.
Q. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France
A.They do not know how to say "CHARGE!"
Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous Frenchmen? People were confused about which side to spit on.
Q. What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in common?
A. Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless.
Q. Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are French children?
A. Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have mustaches!!
Q. What is the most useful thing in the French Army?
A. A rearview mirror, so they can see the war.
Q. Why do the french call their fighter the *Mirage*?
A. Because it doesn't really exist.
The French; they are a funny race, they fight with their feet, and fuck with their face!
Q. how can you tell if a frechmen has been in your backyard?
A. your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant!
Why wasn't Jesus born in france? Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.
The French are to warfare what the British are to cooking
Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. All of them: One to screw the bulb in, the rest to brag about how great the French are at screwing.
Q. Did you hear about the French submarine with a screen door?
A. Don't laugh... it keeps the fish out.
Q. What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other?
A. A bisexual.
A French and American general were surveying a battlefield. A bullet strikes the American general, grazing his arm. He shouts "Aide! Bring me my red jacket!" The French general asks "Why did you do that?" The American general responds "So my men don't see that I'm bleeding, and lose hope." A second bullet narrowly misses the French general's ear, and he shouts: "Aide! Bring me my brown trousers!"
-----
Yeah, call me a racist pig. But at least its just the French.
Monday, June 30, 2008
On Forcing Oil Companies to Fund Alternatives
I just read that American politicians from both major parties were denouncing the so-called obscene profiteering of oil companies and their lack of spending on alternative sources of fuel.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'd like to see the day wherein my bottle of Absolute mineral water will be enough to fire my engine to school and back. However, isn't it a bit unfair to ask the oil companies to fund their own demise? I mean, where are the venture capitalists here?
Would you force a beer company to fund a temperance campaign? Or fund Prohibition?
Would you force manual laborers to fork over cash to fund the mechanizing of their work?
Why would you force an industry to fund its own obsolesence? Why must it comply?
The funny part of all this is that the biggest spenders on alternative fuel research are the oil companies themselves.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't, I guess.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'd like to see the day wherein my bottle of Absolute mineral water will be enough to fire my engine to school and back. However, isn't it a bit unfair to ask the oil companies to fund their own demise? I mean, where are the venture capitalists here?
Would you force a beer company to fund a temperance campaign? Or fund Prohibition?
Would you force manual laborers to fork over cash to fund the mechanizing of their work?
Why would you force an industry to fund its own obsolesence? Why must it comply?
The funny part of all this is that the biggest spenders on alternative fuel research are the oil companies themselves.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't, I guess.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Surreal Multiply Moment
My cousin Ray invited me to be a contact, and I get a message that says the following:
"Ray Reyes invites you to be his cousin."
Yeah, sure thing Cuz. I'll be your cousin. :)
Good thing I didn't accidentally press "decline", or the family tree may need fixing.
"Ray Reyes invites you to be his cousin."
Yeah, sure thing Cuz. I'll be your cousin. :)
Good thing I didn't accidentally press "decline", or the family tree may need fixing.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Still Touching Lives
I forgot which blog I was reading when I came across the following quote, but it still tickles me pink whenever I remember it:
When the Gospel came to Greece, the Gospel became a civilization.
When the Gospel came to Rome, the Gospel became an empire.
When the Gospel came to America, the Gospel became a business.
When the Gospel came to Greece, the Gospel became a civilization.
When the Gospel came to Rome, the Gospel became an empire.
When the Gospel came to America, the Gospel became a business.
One More Reason to Stay in the Philippines...
...is that I wouldn't be able to raise my kids in Europe. Apparently, governments over there believe that I, by virtue of my Y chromosome, am an unnecessary element in the life of my children.
This may seem like trivial, bureaucratic tweaking, but think of the consequences. By emphasizing the rights of the woman over that of the rights of her children or her husband, you essentially define family as a feminine possession. So, families cease to be the most fundamental building block of any society. Families are reduced to fab accessories for women.
Not even the most mind-boggling patriarchies could concieve of families in this way. When wives and children were deemed "property" of the man of the house, it came with the implicit understanding that the only reason the family was property was because they are put in trust by the community in the hands of its male protector. So, the family was "owned" in the same way feudal lords "owned" serfs, as part of a necessary deal to protect against the vagaries of human nature. Heaven have mercy on the steward who violates this trust!
Now, we consider such reasoning obsolete, and justifiedly so. However, that reasoning is far superior to the ones Western governments are giving to effectively feminize all things family. In the heyday of "individualism", capitalizing on the remnants of Christian culture ("inalenable rights" is a Christian product), families are effectively made the property of women because these poor women deserve "legal rights". (Where did responsibilities go? Oh, women don't have 'em? Geez.) The rights of lesbians and single women to have kids unconditionally attached to their households (because, you know, requiring those kids to have fathers or know their fathers causes so much emotional distress) trumps the preservation of a family structure that was responsible for the rise of mankind from the mists of time. Aristotle, the product of buggery-loving Athenian culture, said in his "Politics" that a man and a woman in marriage is at the heart of a polis. (Wow, apparently, "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" was not originally a fundamentalist Christian argument!) For these new overlords of the remnants of Western civilization, a woman's "right" to satiate her motherhood urges (how else can you explain child-bearing framed as an individual right, and not a privelege?) is at the heart of a polis. One wonders how that polis will survive PMS.
Attempts to alter human nature have always been met by the stubborn backlash of a nature that stubbornly refuses to be altered by mere fiat. The fall of Western civilization may be interesting to observe. However, I wouldn't want my children to be in the middle of it all.
Sure, crime and corruption are rampant in the Philippines. But crime is rampant in the West too. Take a stroll through the Muslim neighborhoods of Great Britain, or the project outskirts of Paris, and the slums of Tondo suddenly don't seem so bad. As for corruption, I am far more willing to live with the kind of pragmatic corruption our elites practice than with the fundamental corruption of the soul that eats at the heart of the West's political elite.
It really puts that "passing through the eye of a needle" invocation against the wealthy into startling context.
This may seem like trivial, bureaucratic tweaking, but think of the consequences. By emphasizing the rights of the woman over that of the rights of her children or her husband, you essentially define family as a feminine possession. So, families cease to be the most fundamental building block of any society. Families are reduced to fab accessories for women.
Not even the most mind-boggling patriarchies could concieve of families in this way. When wives and children were deemed "property" of the man of the house, it came with the implicit understanding that the only reason the family was property was because they are put in trust by the community in the hands of its male protector. So, the family was "owned" in the same way feudal lords "owned" serfs, as part of a necessary deal to protect against the vagaries of human nature. Heaven have mercy on the steward who violates this trust!
Now, we consider such reasoning obsolete, and justifiedly so. However, that reasoning is far superior to the ones Western governments are giving to effectively feminize all things family. In the heyday of "individualism", capitalizing on the remnants of Christian culture ("inalenable rights" is a Christian product), families are effectively made the property of women because these poor women deserve "legal rights". (Where did responsibilities go? Oh, women don't have 'em? Geez.) The rights of lesbians and single women to have kids unconditionally attached to their households (because, you know, requiring those kids to have fathers or know their fathers causes so much emotional distress) trumps the preservation of a family structure that was responsible for the rise of mankind from the mists of time. Aristotle, the product of buggery-loving Athenian culture, said in his "Politics" that a man and a woman in marriage is at the heart of a polis. (Wow, apparently, "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" was not originally a fundamentalist Christian argument!) For these new overlords of the remnants of Western civilization, a woman's "right" to satiate her motherhood urges (how else can you explain child-bearing framed as an individual right, and not a privelege?) is at the heart of a polis. One wonders how that polis will survive PMS.
Attempts to alter human nature have always been met by the stubborn backlash of a nature that stubbornly refuses to be altered by mere fiat. The fall of Western civilization may be interesting to observe. However, I wouldn't want my children to be in the middle of it all.
Sure, crime and corruption are rampant in the Philippines. But crime is rampant in the West too. Take a stroll through the Muslim neighborhoods of Great Britain, or the project outskirts of Paris, and the slums of Tondo suddenly don't seem so bad. As for corruption, I am far more willing to live with the kind of pragmatic corruption our elites practice than with the fundamental corruption of the soul that eats at the heart of the West's political elite.
It really puts that "passing through the eye of a needle" invocation against the wealthy into startling context.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Youtube...
...will start showing full-length indie flicks. That's nice.
And there's this:
"Filmmakers will be able to attach a "buy-now" button to the presentations and will receive a percentage of profits from all films presented on the website."
Nice.
And there's this:
"Filmmakers will be able to attach a "buy-now" button to the presentations and will receive a percentage of profits from all films presented on the website."
Nice.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Nationalism Means Learning How to Goosestep
One of my UA&P students posts here about a variety of different musings about the notion of a national identity. Now, that's all well and good, and it is healthy for society that its youth ponders such issues as this. (No, I ain't that old.)
However, one part of her entry caught my eye, and it was the part regarding nationalism and Filipino movies. She quotes a local film luminary approvingly:
I believe that there is a Filipino feeling for movies; a Filipino way of film making;
Now, let's head back to reality. This is what a "nationalist film" looks like. If you don't recognize the title, look it up. If you want more goosebumps, check out the comments.
Sieg Heil...
Now, Leni Reifenstahl (uniquely German!) is considered to be the greatest female director of the 20th century. And the little "nationalist" film she made is her magnum opus. Of course, after deifying one of the greatest monsters the human race has ever seen, she never worked again.
Now, imagine our best filmmakers making "nationalist" films. What we will get is either nauseating junk, or breathtaking monstrosities. I can already see the future, with Akbayan, Sanalakas and Bayan Muna party members goosestepping to Malacanang while our glorious revolutionary leader enraptures the "masa" with populist slogans and empty promises (like Obama!), all captured lovingly by our "uniquely Filipino" filmmaker.
Another funny thing about the quote is that it was said in the year 1985. So, according to our film industry, the "uniquely Filipino" film is the mindlessly formulaic action film, or the poor man's slapstick, or the so-called ST (euphemism for softcore porn) films. Sure, there were gems here and there, but even these gems all stuck to the same themes. Its kinda like, no matter how excellent a game Medal of Honor is, its still another WWII game in a sea of WWII games.
Its no better today. Sure, we now have independent filmmakers to challenge the furmulae of the mainstream. Despite this, we still get the same crap over and over again. Just take a look at indie cinema in the Philippines today. If we believe this rather inbred community of "indie" filmmakers, what is "uniquely Filipino" is poverty, (homo)sexuality, and even more poverty and (homo)sexuality. I mean, what the fuck are we, a nation of poor, closeted drag queens? To be honest, it seems that such a community of morons never met a disestablishmentarian brain fart they didn't like.
The greatest travesty of local filmmakers consciously trying for a "uniquely Filipino" cinema is that they always mightily screw up the "uniquely Filipino" part. Listen to the guy quoted above: "how we talk, how we make love, how we die"? Is that all we Filipinos do? Cluck, fuck and die in the muck? Not every Filipino is a poor schmuck trying to get out of the farm/squatter's area. Only 2%-3% of us are homosexual and we don't all suffer from sexual dysfunctions. We don't all beat our wives, smile at prostitution and champion cheap hypocrisy. And we don't all break down into melodramatic fits over the most petty of crises. I am sick as hell of these filmmakers telling me that their "uniquely Filipino" crap is what the Filipino actually is. Like the idiot filmmaker quoted above, I too had the opportunity to leave this country, but chose to stay instead. But if my country is what these morons portray it to be, then I would've been gone on the first flight out.
You know what the better route is? Try making films that are universally human. You are bound to get more things right that way. Why? Because the Filipino is human. I felt more connected to my being Filipino watching "Cheaper By the Dozen" (hey, we have our large families too!) than I did watching "Bagong Buwan", where everybody is an ideological cliche in search of a character.
Universally human, in all the glory and grit, joy and sorrow, triumph and trials of every saint and sinner that saw fit to join the human race, That is how we pay tribute, not just to our being Filipino, but to our being human.
That is much better than the petty narrowness and suffocating rigidity of "nationalism".
"Nationalism" can suck it.
However, one part of her entry caught my eye, and it was the part regarding nationalism and Filipino movies. She quotes a local film luminary approvingly:
I believe that there is a Filipino feeling for movies; a Filipino way of film making;
and one day this will emerge, slower than usual, human, pathetic, touching the heart.
On the screen, we’ll see the way we talk, the way we make love, the way we die.
We are a unique people living in a unique place,
and we deserve a uniquely Filipino cinema."
-LAMBERTO AVELLANA
(extract of Portrait of a Director: Lamberto Avellana.
Originally published in Filipino Film Review, January - Match, 1985)
Now, let's head back to reality. This is what a "nationalist film" looks like. If you don't recognize the title, look it up. If you want more goosebumps, check out the comments.
Sieg Heil...
Now, Leni Reifenstahl (uniquely German!) is considered to be the greatest female director of the 20th century. And the little "nationalist" film she made is her magnum opus. Of course, after deifying one of the greatest monsters the human race has ever seen, she never worked again.
Now, imagine our best filmmakers making "nationalist" films. What we will get is either nauseating junk, or breathtaking monstrosities. I can already see the future, with Akbayan, Sanalakas and Bayan Muna party members goosestepping to Malacanang while our glorious revolutionary leader enraptures the "masa" with populist slogans and empty promises (like Obama!), all captured lovingly by our "uniquely Filipino" filmmaker.
Another funny thing about the quote is that it was said in the year 1985. So, according to our film industry, the "uniquely Filipino" film is the mindlessly formulaic action film, or the poor man's slapstick, or the so-called ST (euphemism for softcore porn) films. Sure, there were gems here and there, but even these gems all stuck to the same themes. Its kinda like, no matter how excellent a game Medal of Honor is, its still another WWII game in a sea of WWII games.
Its no better today. Sure, we now have independent filmmakers to challenge the furmulae of the mainstream. Despite this, we still get the same crap over and over again. Just take a look at indie cinema in the Philippines today. If we believe this rather inbred community of "indie" filmmakers, what is "uniquely Filipino" is poverty, (homo)sexuality, and even more poverty and (homo)sexuality. I mean, what the fuck are we, a nation of poor, closeted drag queens? To be honest, it seems that such a community of morons never met a disestablishmentarian brain fart they didn't like.
The greatest travesty of local filmmakers consciously trying for a "uniquely Filipino" cinema is that they always mightily screw up the "uniquely Filipino" part. Listen to the guy quoted above: "how we talk, how we make love, how we die"? Is that all we Filipinos do? Cluck, fuck and die in the muck? Not every Filipino is a poor schmuck trying to get out of the farm/squatter's area. Only 2%-3% of us are homosexual and we don't all suffer from sexual dysfunctions. We don't all beat our wives, smile at prostitution and champion cheap hypocrisy. And we don't all break down into melodramatic fits over the most petty of crises. I am sick as hell of these filmmakers telling me that their "uniquely Filipino" crap is what the Filipino actually is. Like the idiot filmmaker quoted above, I too had the opportunity to leave this country, but chose to stay instead. But if my country is what these morons portray it to be, then I would've been gone on the first flight out.
You know what the better route is? Try making films that are universally human. You are bound to get more things right that way. Why? Because the Filipino is human. I felt more connected to my being Filipino watching "Cheaper By the Dozen" (hey, we have our large families too!) than I did watching "Bagong Buwan", where everybody is an ideological cliche in search of a character.
Universally human, in all the glory and grit, joy and sorrow, triumph and trials of every saint and sinner that saw fit to join the human race, That is how we pay tribute, not just to our being Filipino, but to our being human.
That is much better than the petty narrowness and suffocating rigidity of "nationalism".
"Nationalism" can suck it.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Kobe Loses!! Break Out the Champagne!!
Oh, and congratulations to the Celtics, too. Great series. Heh, Kobe didn't even seem to put up much of a fight after the first quarter of game 6. Oh, and to PRS103 section 1A: Booyah!!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
SO FAR WE ARE - The French Kicks
The French Kicks' music video for "So Far We Are" from TWO THOUSAND. Personally, I find the song repetitive and annoying. Oh, and the band might as well be a bunch of zombies with instruments and a new found love for flashlights. What kind of a name is "The French Kicks" anyway? No adjective can emasculate such a bad-ass verb like "kick" quite like "French". Is it because these guys kick like girls?
So why is this video even here? Two words. Olivia Wilde.
Sure, she's stumbling around like a lobotomized teenager to this earache of a song, but I'd watch her prance around in a potato sack with garbage compactors humming in the background and thoroughly enjoy myself. Olivia Wilde rocks. :D
Stolen by Dashboard Confessional
This is the music video for Dashboard Confessional's recent hit "Stolen". The song is a sophomoric little pop ditty with a catchy melody and poetic, middle school grade lyrics that were seemingly written when the songwriter was 13. But the reality is, I don't give a rat's posterior about the band or their shitty little song. Olivia Wilde is in it, and that makes everything okay... :D
Pizza Girl
This is the promotional poster for a no-budget flick I helped co-produce, along with my good friend Joem Antonio. (Albeit reluctantly. I'm a writer at heart, not a producer.) It's called "Pizza Girl". Our little unofficial production outfit, Indio Pictures, is holding an advanced screening for the benefit of WYD attendee Mia Tapiador, one of our friends from the University of Asia and the Pacific who's recently graduated. It will be shown on June 27, 2008, at room acb302 at the ACB building of the University of Asia and the Pacific at 7:45 PM. Seating is limited, and tickets cost Php 75, with a free Krispy Kreme donut thrown in. [/end of plug]
As to what this movie is all about, there is disagreement even among the people who made it. (Very indie, wouldn't you say?) Joem thinks its about honesty. I believe its about *spoiler alert* dealing with rejection. *end spoiler alert* He's the writer, so his opinion trumps mine. In any case, its the story of a young man with a priority clash; his pride or the girl of his dreams.
Why watch it? For me...the girl's pretty and the guy is a dumbass I can relate to. That's enough for me. The story is one that doesn't get enough air time in romantic movies.
The writer has his summary here. Is it gritty? I'll disagree with my friend. I've seen puppies with more grit than this movie. Is it uncompromising? I guess...since there isn't anything in it that would merit a debate to compromise. Is it heart-warming? Yup. Apparently, FGD's say clueless guys are fun and heartwarming. (How else do you explain Star World's prime time comedy lineup?) Is it educational? I suppose so.
But ultimately, the best reason to watch this thing because its fun, with its own distinct charm. I hope whoever watches it has as much fun watching it as we had making it.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Kung Fu Panda
| Rating: | ★★★ |
| Category: | Movies |
| Genre: | Kids & Family |
Granted, Kung Fu Panda will keep the kiddies laughing. It is serviceable as family fare, and mom and dad won't have to cringe their way through. And, the visuals are gorgeous. Stunning visuals are, after all, a Dreamworks trademark.
But beyond the candy trappings, this is essentially a movie created around finding another reason to play Carl Douglas' "Kung Fu Fighting" in theaters.
Studio Executive: Hey, I know what sells. Kung Fu! *begins singing "Kung Fu Fighting"*
Studio Executive 2: And cute animals! Kids love cute animals!
Studio Executive 1: Kung Fu fighting with cute animals? Money!
Studio Executive 2: How do we pitch it?
Studio Executive 1: It pitches itself! I mean, c'mon! Who can resist?
Studio Executive 2: We need a tag line.
Studio Executive 1: How about..."Prepare for awesomeness"...
Studio Executive 2: That's not even a word...
Studio Executive 1: So? Imagine Jack Black saying it...
Studio Executive 2: Who?
Studio Executive 1: Fat man-child with a guitar and delusions of sex appeal.
Studio Executive 2: Perfect...
Studio Executive 1: To production! *sings Kung Fu Fighting again*
Beyond the comedic stylings of Mr. Black, the movie looks as if it was a bunch of rendered action sequences painstakingly cobbled together by underpaid and overworked story editors. The story must rely on tired tropes: the old master, the fat slob who can suddenly kung fu after a few sessions of ancient Far Eastern juju, a wisecracking monkey, Angelina Jolie in another stupefying grrrl power role, etc. etc. Pixar probably takes a couple of years developing its stories to perfection. For Dreamworks, story is an afterthought.
Overall, another film to have you salivating for Pixar's Wall.E.
Science Fiction on CSI
Now, I know I shouldn't be surprised when my TV lies to me, but I expect my lies to come from certain TV places, like NBC nightly news. However, this one came from CSI. No, not CSI: Miami, which is well-known for inventing gizmos to suit deus ex machina. It was CSI the original, by reputation the most sober of the franchise (though that's disintegrating fast...).
In the episode I saw tonight, the denoument shows Grissom, with his adoring team surrounding him, beginning his little pontification with a solemn declaration that "there are no coincidences". (The episode was kinda surreal.) And, he begins explaining the connectedness of the entire wierd little plot by saying that there is a theory of everything. And what is this theory? String theory.
Yep.
String fucking theory.
Grissom's big theory is a little bit of science fiction that hinges on the existence of a "multiverse" to remain feasible. The theory is so complex, it cannot make itself believable unless we are willing to swallow the Twilight Zone as fact. Calculations gone wrong? Hey, it may be correct...in a parallel universe! Booyah!
I can't believe CSI is marketing this crap as genuine science. If this is "science", then those bastards have lost all rights to criticize us "religious nutjobs" for our beliefs. They take this mess as truth, even if it is impossible to empirically verify and falsify. (Like evolution...never mind.) If the scientist can take leaps of faith like string theory, then they'd better be willing to acknowledge the validity of the belief in God. "God made it" is certainly just as plausible as a "multiverse". Hehe. who ever said deus ex machina was just a literary concept?
In the episode I saw tonight, the denoument shows Grissom, with his adoring team surrounding him, beginning his little pontification with a solemn declaration that "there are no coincidences". (The episode was kinda surreal.) And, he begins explaining the connectedness of the entire wierd little plot by saying that there is a theory of everything. And what is this theory? String theory.
Yep.
String fucking theory.
Grissom's big theory is a little bit of science fiction that hinges on the existence of a "multiverse" to remain feasible. The theory is so complex, it cannot make itself believable unless we are willing to swallow the Twilight Zone as fact. Calculations gone wrong? Hey, it may be correct...in a parallel universe! Booyah!
I can't believe CSI is marketing this crap as genuine science. If this is "science", then those bastards have lost all rights to criticize us "religious nutjobs" for our beliefs. They take this mess as truth, even if it is impossible to empirically verify and falsify. (Like evolution...never mind.) If the scientist can take leaps of faith like string theory, then they'd better be willing to acknowledge the validity of the belief in God. "God made it" is certainly just as plausible as a "multiverse". Hehe. who ever said deus ex machina was just a literary concept?
Friday, June 6, 2008
NBA Finals
Who do I hate more? Annoying Boston fans (Thank you, NY Giants!), or Kobe Bryant?
Oh, well...
Go, Celtics!
Oh, well...
Go, Celtics!
Groupies
I was hanging out with a group of local intellectuals in a local restaurant. One of these intellectuals, a rightfully celebrated writer, came with a groupie attached to his hip. Now, groupies are normally a sign of unadulterated rock star status, and this guy was every bit the local intellectual equivalent of a rock star. So, the fact that he has a groupie is hardly surprising.
Now, she wasn't bad-looking...I mean, if I just woke up to find her next to me in my bed, I wouldn't kick her out. So far, so good, right? But then, something happened. She opened her mouth. Good God Almighty...
Rarely have I met anybody that jaw-droppingly stupid. (Sorry, local intellectual rock star. You're still a hero to me.) I mean, if she were some sort of Valley Girl, I will find her cuteness and naiveté vaguely endearing. But, no, she was dead serious, with all the pretentiousness of a worldly granola bar (with the accompanying substance, or lack thereof). And in the midst of all this, she seemed to think the room found her charming.
I made the mistake of calling her the local intellectual rock star's girlfriend. He told me discreetly never to do that again, because he didn't want her getting any ideas. I don't blame you, my friend. I wouldn't want to tap that either. I'm sure you can pull much better tail.
I don't know if I'll ever become famous. But if I do, God save me from groupies like that.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Food and Fuel
Would you rather have food on the table, or cheap gas? Didn't this use to be an easy question?
Sunday, June 1, 2008
John C. Wright's Journal
http://johncwright.livejournal.com/
The blog of an actual writer whom I admire.
The blog of an actual writer whom I admire.
Thank you, Mr. Roboto...
I was reading through this article in National Review (yes, I bleed Conservative), when on the last page, I came across this:
"But then Morrison was caught in a sex scandal involving a woman who worked in the Johnson County DA’s office. Allegedly, he wanted to use the woman as a mole to influence Kline’s investigation of Planned Parenthood, but she refused to go along. Morrison resigned in disgrace, but Sebelius appointed another political ally, a judge named Stephen Six who has continued the Sebelius jihad against not only Kline’s prosecution, but against Kline personally." (Italics mine.)
Hehe, not only is the governor of Kansas named like a Sith Lord (Darth Sebelius, lol!!), her ally sounds like he has a model number rather than an actual name. So, for all the jokes about Dick Cheney being Darth Vader and Terminator rolled into one, the Democrats may well get Darth Sebelius and her Terminator model Stephen 6 in their vice presidential slot for the upcoming election.
Talk about the new boss being no different from the old boss. I can't wait for Stephen 6's face to melt and reveal the machine within...
"But then Morrison was caught in a sex scandal involving a woman who worked in the Johnson County DA’s office. Allegedly, he wanted to use the woman as a mole to influence Kline’s investigation of Planned Parenthood, but she refused to go along. Morrison resigned in disgrace, but Sebelius appointed another political ally, a judge named Stephen Six who has continued the Sebelius jihad against not only Kline’s prosecution, but against Kline personally." (Italics mine.)
Hehe, not only is the governor of Kansas named like a Sith Lord (Darth Sebelius, lol!!), her ally sounds like he has a model number rather than an actual name. So, for all the jokes about Dick Cheney being Darth Vader and Terminator rolled into one, the Democrats may well get Darth Sebelius and her Terminator model Stephen 6 in their vice presidential slot for the upcoming election.
Talk about the new boss being no different from the old boss. I can't wait for Stephen 6's face to melt and reveal the machine within...Leading the Brave New World is...fucking Quebec?
Interesting article here from MercatorNet. Apparently, before Canada caught that nasty plague of Radix Faecal Encephalopathy in the year of our Lord 1968 (along with the rest of the West), this quaint little Canadian province already had a terminal case. I suppose it pays to be avant-garde. These guys are French, after all. Before the rest of the world knew the joys of bra-burning, legal infanticide and "free love", Quebec was already laying the groundwork.
I dunno, there is just something funny about a country's version of generation '68 taking its cue from the intellectual leading light that is Quebec, home of Celine Dion and punching bag of comic dogs everywhere. Apparently, it will now also be the home of "normative pluralism", a happy, adolescent ideology that will tell French-Canadian kiddies that it is okay to pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, as long as you don't, you know, actually believe the stuff about redemption, salvation, morality and shit.
It's like basing an entire social and civilizational philosophy on Woodstock. Oh, wait...fuck.
Damn you, Baby Boomers!!
I dunno, there is just something funny about a country's version of generation '68 taking its cue from the intellectual leading light that is Quebec, home of Celine Dion and punching bag of comic dogs everywhere. Apparently, it will now also be the home of "normative pluralism", a happy, adolescent ideology that will tell French-Canadian kiddies that it is okay to pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, as long as you don't, you know, actually believe the stuff about redemption, salvation, morality and shit.
It's like basing an entire social and civilizational philosophy on Woodstock. Oh, wait...fuck.
Damn you, Baby Boomers!!
The Successful Novelist
| Rating: | ★★★★★ |
| Category: | Books |
| Genre: | Professional & Technical |
| Author: | David Morrell |
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