Critics' Night

I don't know how to characterize it, really. The other plays did well enough, but when it came to the one I was directing, all I can say is that it was a learning experience.

I learned that, cursed or not, we can go full steam ahead, damn the torpedoes, defy fate and put on a show.

I also learned that it probably won't be a very good show. Heck, the iPod carrying the rain sounds froze up for no apparent reason. Fate just said "fuck you" and waved her invisible finger.

I learned that I have the best assisstant director / stage manager / everywoman in the world. Or at least, in school. Kara is awesome. Battling a cold, stage fright and having to memorize lines and physical nuances at the last minute before stepping into the bright lights, she pulled off a decent performance. If she weren't so against acting, she'd be amazing.

I also learned that, for all your planning and calibration in casting, character counts just as much as talent. It is bitterly ironic that my most talented cast member was "character not included". "I don't feel well" did not fly as an excuse during Pygmalion, especially where a show was on the line. It does not fly tonight, moreso when you inform everyone 30 minutes before show time. Kara did not feel well. She kicked ass.

I realized that everybody deserves a second chance. I still want my most talented cast member to redeem herself. To paraphrase Mr. Brando's character in "On the Waterfront", she could have been a contender. I refuse to believe that she is a bust. My great disappointment is due to the fact that I have come to respect her potential. If she redeems herself, redemption would be sweet indeed.

I also realized that I am not alone. Struggling though it may be, the organization that hosts me is a good one.

I learned that my directing style can be ruinous. Being too nice and accomodating creates the impression that there is no urgency. Hence, some people begin to think that their presence in the production is not so much a blessing, but a chore that breeds feelings of false entitlement. On this regard, I may be just as much to blame for the character lapse of my best actress as she is. Her redemption is my redemption as well.

Nice guys finish last, after all. And here I was thinking that my being an asshat did not have its uses.

All in all, we took on the curse and came out of the other side, battered, yet unbowed, with nothing so bad that few tweaks won't fix. This show is going to kick so much ass.

See y'all on Nov. 25.