Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Groan You Hear is Me...

You would think that a woman who knows she is the dream girl of a subset of the population who subsist primarily on meat and cheese (pizza and hot pockets) would know better. But, noooooo....

Stupid Olivia Munn decides to get naked for PETA.



To honor her stupidity, view her nakedness while munching on a recently-slaughtered, deep fried former poultry of your choice.

Or, do it while watching a bear juggling bowling pins. Circuses are actually fun.

PS
Say what you will about Olivia Wilde, but she has not, to my knowledge, ever posed naked for these monsters. So there. (Though, it may just be a matter of time.)

Saturday, April 24, 2010

160 Greatest Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes




Celebrating the finest actor of our generation with 160 of his greatest movie quotes! Batman & Robin, Collateral Damage, Commando, Conan the Barbarian, Conan the Destroyer, End of Days, Eraser, Jingle All the Way, Junior, Kindergarten Cop, Last Action Hero, Predator, Pumping Iron, Raw Deal, Red Heat, Red Sonja, The Running Man, The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Total Recall, True Lies, Twins, The 6th Day and Around the World in 80 Days.

I'd Be Singing Mickey Mouse Too...

From Full Metal Jacket.


There's something about a bunch of hardened soldiers walking through carnage singing a kiddie song. It's both bad-ass and poignant at the same time. Awesome scene.

Now if only Matthew Modine and his girly voice would just stop talking...

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Good Atheist

Professor Antony Flew, one of West's leading atheist philosophers during 60's, 70's and 80's, has recently died.

His philosophical legwork for atheism during that time period ought to be the model by which shrieking harpies like Richard Dawkins should have pushed for their beliefs. Professor Flew, unlike amateur atheists like Dawkins, actually attempted to present the opposite side he wished to debunk fairly, often presenting it in its strongest form before engaging. He rarely stooped to petty polemical point-scoring, choosing instead to engage the best the tradition he was going against had to offer.

Like Jurgen Habermas, he respected his opponents and preferred dialogue to confrontation. And while he could not accept Christian theology, he was nevertheless respectful of Christian morality.

I'd like to think of the good atheist as a constant seeker. He is not someone who rests on the simpleton's notion that he has flicked away 2000 years of intellectual tradition with a witty put-down or a novel idea. He is involved with hard questions, and does not rest on easy assumptions about the consequences of godlessness on society. (Constantly wailing "atheists can be good people too!" is not an aswer.)

And in the end, like the good pagan, the good atheist will find himself at the zenith of his journey, confronting the gaping maw of the abyss and seeing the spectre of God there. How he confronts the object of his opprobrium; that which he had sought to deny all his life in an honest fashion, will differ among individuals. Habermas responds with an appeal to cooperation with that which he does not yet fully understand. Flew responded by becoming a deist.

I am sure that, if they are given enough time on this world, the good atheist will eventually take the same path as the good pagan. He will be baptized.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Bluegrass Bohemian Rhapsody

Just in case you were wondering what it would sound like...


Secular Reason Dies Alone

In the New York Times, of all places, Stanley Fish (a noted popular intellectual and, according to First Things, bellweather of hipster intellectuals) wrote an opinion piece on the latest pursuits of the leading Continental neo-Marxist champion of philosophical modernism Jurgen Habermas.

The contrast between the New York Times' ridiculously misinformed "reporting" on the Catholic scandals in Europe and the growing secular despair that haunts Habermas' most recent work cannot be more stark. The title of Fish's article is "Does Reason Know What It Is Missing?" It is quite apparent that Reason does not, and cannot.

At the root of Habermas' despair, as well as his declared preparations for a "post-secular" society, is the fact that secular reason on its own cannot provide any justification for its own conclusions beyond its own self-contained structures. For example, "human rights" can only be justified by reason if its own internal structure accepts as an axiom that "human rights" are a good thing. Only if "human rights" as a good is an accepted axiom can secular reason justify the good of human rights. In this case, the key for secular reason's justification of something the rest of humanity takes for granted as good is an idea that is an assumption from an external source rather than a logical conclusion reached within reason's own coherent structure and unity.

Fish relates a story Habermas uses to illustrate his point, which appears in his 2008 debate with Jesuit intellectuals, in which an atheist friend of his, after a full life in which faith played little part, declared his wish to have his funeral conducted in a church. Now, one may not find this a big deal, as there are secular places one can have funerals in nowadays. (Just look up your local funeral parlor.) But this atheist intellectual, far more conscious of the implications of his thought than most lazily agnostic seculars, recognized that in a fully secularized world dominated by reason there is no justification for the need of funerals. And yet, there it was, the desire for a ritual that would mitigate the horrors of death. A funeral cannot be anywhere but in a church, or at least on holy ground. Secular reason, detached from all trappings of faith, dies alone.

Habermas has been on this train of thought for a while. His most famous work, the two volume "Theory of Communicative Action" released in 1981, contains as a key idea the notion of "linguistification of the sacred" (Versprachlichung des Sakrals). By this idea he asserts that modern notions of equality and fairness derive from a secularization of sacred terms taken from a Judeo-Christian culture. On its own, reason cannot be used to derive "what ought to be" from "what is", which is all that reason and logic is designed to deal with.

As delighted as I am with Habermas' sober assessment of the future of our bland Western secularism, I find his solution to be terribly wanting.

“…the religious side must accept the authority of ‘natural’ reason as the fallible results of the institutionalized sciences and the basic principles of universalistic egalitarianism in law and morality. Conversely, secular reason may not set itself up as the judge concerning truths of faith, even though in the end it can accept as reasonable only what it can translate into its own, in principle universally accessible, discourses.”
 
This solution appears in his debate with the Jesuits, and the Jesuits rightly call him on it. In essence, his solution is that religion give way to the preeminence of natural reason, while reason graciously refuses to condescend into judgment on the irrationality of religion. This pact of cooperation, wherein religion's role is to be a mere gentle reminder to curb the excesses of the empires of Reason, will not work to stem the downward spiral of the secular society. How do I know? Because this solution has been tried, and has been found wanting. I suppose that Habermas, due to his being German, can be forgiven for not having extensively observed American "civil religion" (you know, "one nation under God" and all that jazz), that warm and fuzzy everyman's religion that served to undergird the brutally rational and pragmatic mindset of modern American governance. Despite civil religion, the United States' empire of reason has embraced such contradictory things as a right to life and a right to abortion, a concern for family and a concern for legitimizing perversity, or the embrace of free speech and the embrace of hate crime laws. Such contradictions indicate reason spilling out of control in all directions, attempting to accomodate contradictions in an attempt not to be wedded to any particular world view. The problem with religion as mere "reminder" is that human nature ignores "reminders".

The reason Habermas wants this uneven relationship between faith and reason is that he still wishes to hold on to the gains of the Enlightenment project. I believe this is the last great scale covering his eyes. He is so wedded to the "gains" of the Enlightenment that he cannot imagine a world without them. But if one is to see a true cooperation of faith and reason, one important key is to shed the Enlightenment that brutalized religion into the fringes in the first place. After all, everything good the Enlightenment accomplished, it only accomplished by scavenging on religion's body of thought. As Habermas himself admits, the Enlightenment's rational project is only possible because it stemmed from a Judeo-Christian culture.

These are radical times, and I believe the best way to deal with it is with the most radical step. We have to be prepared to part with the Enlightenment project, or at least, most of its assumptions, if we ever hope to anchor reason onto something reasonable again. To climb out of this grave, one must have to step on the bloated carcasses of Voltaire, Diderot, Comte, Hobbes, Locke, Kant, and the rest of that gaggle who thought they could perfect the imperfectible by reason alone.

If we continue uncritically down this path though, we all risk dying alone.

Monday, April 19, 2010

The Things I Learned

From a single John C. Wright* blog post:

I realized that Robert A. Heinlein could not write romances if his life depended on it. Of the Heinlein novels I've read, he tends to go one of two ways when it comes to romantic relationships. He either goes all bland, wooden and generic (Starship Troopers), or he goes batshit preachy for free love (Stranger in a Strange Land).

***

I also agree that the relationship RAH can write best is that between father and son. The two Heinlein novels I love most (Starship Troopers and Citizen of the Galaxy) feature very warm and believable father-son relationships (Johnny Rico and his dad, Thorby and Baslim).

***

It was brought up in the thread that the reason old-guard hard sci fi tended to be excluded from literary canons is that these sci fi writers were more interested in ideas than in people. I suspect that this is true, or at least a key pillar of truth among others. I don't know if this says more about sci fi or about literary canons in general. Asimov, for example, did write more human robots than he did humans.

***

I also learned that the sparkly vampire genre is called "paranormal romance", or "para-rom" for short. Finally, a term upon which to vent my utter disgust.

***

Yes, I too prefer the Professor van Helsing school of dealing with monsters like vampires, werewolves and the like. Kill them all, let Satan sort them out.

A vampire is target practice, not my future son-in-law. I'll shoot his glittery ass. With silver, garlic-coated, dipped-in-holy-water bullets if I have to.

***

* John C. Wright is a science fiction author. I find it really enjoyable reading a writer blogging about the craft. it also helps that I am agreeable to his other ideas too.

“…Houses today are not built and fitted out for comfort, beauty, or even elegance, but for “easy working” and nothing else. There are indeed such dwellings (I will not call them homes) and bleak and cheerless places they are, too.” – John Seymour, Forgotten Household Crafts

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Arts of the Beautiful as Mimesis

Introduction: From Art Work to Artist

    The perception of art as a creative process stemming from the mind of the artist has grown increasingly common, especially in a post-modern age that prizes subjectivity. This has led to the glorification of the individual talent creating the art, leading to the increasing importance of the artist against the importance of the beauty of the artwork.

    According to Gilson, the arts of the beautiful are arts wherein the end is the creation of an artwork that is beautiful. This notion of what is art being determined by the beauty of the work produced has ancient roots in the West. The artist had begun as a slave, almost anonymous except for what signature he can impute upon the work of art he created. His masters, as is the wont of human beings since time immemorial, had desire for beautiful things. The artist’s only purpose in his master’s household was to satiate that desire for the beautiful. The artist was the household artisan responsible for the death mask and the household gods. The artist was the slave woman on the lyre, pleasuring her mistress through her ministrations on the strings of her instrument. The artist was the calligrapher who endowed his master’s correspondence with a visual grace that complimented whatever message the master sent.

    Even the ancient artist whom no master owned did not escaped the bondage of creating the beautiful for those who craved it. Myron honoured athletes and victors in order to honour the art of statuary. The blind Homer composed epic poetry that his people may see themselves in their own heroes. The artists of these ages were never without masters, though some did not have owners. This pattern would continue, pouring from the Greeks to the various European kingdoms and empires that succeeded them.

    The Renaissance saw the balance begin to shift from the artist as slave to the artist as transcendent genius. This shift precipitated another one; the shift in focus from the beauty of the art work to the creativity of the artist. To be sure, the artist was still beholden to men richer than he was, for no artist could hope to satisfy his vocation without a patron. Michelangelo Buonarroti flourished under Medici and Papal patronage, just like his contemporaries. However, emerging in the Renaissance was the notion that man is all things, and that the genius of man knows no bounds. The works of man have begun to be seen in light of the greatness of man. Slowly, man begun to look inward into himself as the source of his own mastery, and the artist was no exception.

    The tension between the beauty of the artwork and the genius of the artist would persist long after the Renaissance. As the artist perfected his technique, his name grew in stature. Eventually, technique turned into the highly personalized “style”, and the attachment of styles to names further placed the artist at the center of the arts of the beautiful.

    The 20th century, with its brutal wars and general disillusionment, saw the artist finally break free from his final chain, which is the need for his artwork to be beautiful. It is in this age that the triumph of the notion that art stems from the transcendent genius of the artist can be seen. Painting, for example, saw the discarding of centuries of technique as perfected by the old Academic masters in favour of “styles” and schools that routinely confound what most people found beautiful, such as the abstract work of Picasso and the surrealist work of Dali. So unimportant had beauty become that the post-modern artist has disregarded beauty altogether, as Tony Barrett wrote in his book “Criticizing Art”. This triumph of the artist’s autonomy from the standards of beauty is implicit even in Gilson’s work, especially where he implies that it is the presence of abstract forms of art that determines whether an art is an art of the beautiful.  

The Arts of the Beautiful Must Produce Beauty

    When Andy Warhol made a splash in the art scene with his “Brillo Box”, critic Arthur Danto pronounced art ended, for it was now indistinguishable from the everyday object. The statement was meant to herald a new age of art, for it was the old art that was now dead. However, the birth of a new art has complications.

    Paul Mattick wrote a chapter on Andy Warhol and his philosophy. In that chapter, he presented Andy Warhol in the eyes of several critics. One critic posits that what makes art is where it is placed. Another saw Warhol as externalizing his inner psyche. Another saw Warhol as a socialist champion. But, rather than form the basis for a new art, all this shows is how problematic the new art is. By reducing the standards to process and statement, there is nothing to signify art apart from everything else. The sheer relativity of the standards meant that there is no art, only the artist. The art has become a slave of the artist.

    Without beauty, the arts of the beautiful, to give a more macabre meaning to Danto’s statement, are truly at an end. There is no more “fine” in fine arts, for the art work produced by the fine arts cannot be an end in itself any longer. One look at Warhol and his critics, we see art reduced to subjective décor (determined by place), art reduced to therapeutic output and art reduced to propaganda. In each case, art exists for the sake of the artist, that he may boost his ego, espouse his message or “empower” whomever. Several decades after the end of art, one may be forgiven for wondering if a new one had even begun.     

    Art, in a technical sense of the word, involves technique. After all, when one speaks of the “art” of war, or the “art” of speech, one is talking about the best ways to go about each endeavour. However, more than technique, art is a habit. What passes from the mind onto the hands, or voice is tempered or enhanced by constant practice and guidance from traditions external to the artist. In the arts of the beautiful, the habits that are to be inculcated are those that are necessary in creating something beautiful. Beauty, however, is perceived not in the workings of the hands but in the recesses of the mind. So, the habit of creating something beautiful includes the inculcation of a habit in the mind of determining what is beautiful. Without this, the habits of the mind practiced by the so-called artist stray to other ends. Some would come into the habit of thinking of art as décor, or something to be placed in a museum. That art practiced then is habit of creating something that museums might consider displaying. Some would adopt the habit of thinking of art as self-expression and actualization. Afterwards, all of their art is created, not to be beautiful, but to be expressions of their inner psyches or whatever mass of meanings they hold dear. Some would adopt the habit of thinking of art as the creation of as pure a personal form as possible. This leads to the creation of art that is as abstract as possible, with the only criteria being its own originality and uniqueness. Lost in all this is beauty. While some of the art mentioned above may stumble upon beauty, beauty is incidental to their creation. As such, the art of the beautiful ceases to be.

To Produce the Beautiful is Mimesis

    What, then, is beautiful art? Man’s concept of beauty originates from his own mind, where what is beautiful is discerned against a million moments of experience. But, according to Aristotle, what reaches the mind takes its first step into it through the senses. Therefore, man’s ideas on what is beautiful begins with what he senses is beautiful.

    What man believes is beautiful does not stem from a vacuum and translates immediately into pure form. Man’s first touch of beauty occurs within nature, or within his external reality. He sees a sunset and finds the colours in their constant fluctuation beautiful. He sees a tiger and finds the symmetry both fearful and enticing. He hears a bird sing and finds it wonderful. He hears himself speak, and feels a pleasure in the rhythms of his voice and words. In these moments are his notions of beauty formed, in images preserved and discerned in the mind from the senses. Since the arts of the beautiful must result in art work that is beautiful, in their creation man must draw upon that well in his mind where dwells everything he considers “beauty”.

    This beauty is what he recreates when he seeks to create an art work that is beautiful. He creates a work that is solely the work of his hands, but is imputed with the images of beauty he retained in his mind. These images, stemming from nature, will be the basis of the beauty in his works of art. This is mimesis.

    At this point, it would be prudent to define the terms used. By “nature”, what is meant here is more akin to the term “natural habitat” than “natural world”. It is not restricted solely to objects that exist independent of man. The word is taken to mean the surroundings external to the man who exists in them. Therefore, one can speak of man drawing from “nature” even if “nature” here is the urban environment he grew up in. When it is said in this essay that man draws from nature, it means that he is drawing from the environment around him, even if many of the elements in his environment are man-made.

    By “mimesis”, what is meant in this essay is mimesis in the Aristotelian sense. Mimesis is not the copying of nature, but rather, the process of selection, translation and transformation of an image man has taken from nature into an object that is of his own making. It is a kind of imitation, but it is also a stylization or perfection of the object imitated. So, to do mimesis is not to simply copy an image or an object in its exactness. It can also involve taking an image or object and retranslating or reproducing it into another media, with the replicator’s own personal touches and transformations.

    If what man determines as beautiful stems from sensory experience stored in images and memories in the mind, then the creation of an art work meant to beautiful is an act of mimesis. This is, of course, most evident in arts of the beautiful wherein imitation (in the closer to the “copy” sense) and representation are part of the material used to create a beautiful form. The ancient Greek sculptor Myron is heralded by both his contemporaries and the Greco Roman critics that followed as one of the greatest sculptors his civilization has produced, mainly because the harmony of his proportions led to the creation of lifelike statues. Implicit in the admiration is the perception of likeness to reality (moderated by a certain idealization) as key to perceiving a statue as beautiful. The Academic Masters have honed their painting techniques to such a point where their paintings can rival photographs in their imitation of real objects.

    But, what of abstract art? While it is easy to believe that abstract art is closer to pure form detached from any similarity in nature, one must take into account that the images in abstract art stem from somewhere. Picasso, for example, may have put a nose on the forehead or an ear on a chin, but before he deconstructs the image of the human face he must first begin with the image of human face. Jackson Pollock, to take another example, to the extent that his works are “beautiful”, may indulge in the technique of criss-crossing different lines of colour with each other. But, to the extent that his colour combinations can be called beautiful, these combinations of colours match something once perceived in reality and perceived to be beautiful. Abstract art, to the extent that such art is beautiful, still carries with it the ghost of mimesis. The translation and transformation aspects of mimesis may be taken to extremes, but the original image taken from nature is still in there, buried under layers of translation and transformation.

    What about music, then? The arrangement of sound in music cannot surely be found in nature. First, one must consider that the notion of “music not appearing in nature” is true only if we use “nature” in the strictest sense; that is, of nature as the world of things not of man’s making. However, if we take nature to mean the environment man moves in, then music is surely a part of any habitation of man. Furthermore, the music he hears is layered by generation upon generation of translation and transformation. What may have begun as music in imitation of birdsong may have long evolved into a form that is different from anything sounding like birdsong, but similarly evocative.

    Another way mimesis manifests itself in music is in the arrangement itself. The beauty of an arrangement of music is in its arrangement; rhythms and mathematical exactness, tension and release, the adventure in the notes as they begin in harmony, descend into tension and dissonance, then come back home into harmony. The resulting sounds may not seemingly appear in nature, but the arrangements do. Man’s experience of rhythm in nature, of tension and release in nature, of symmetry in nature, are all present in man’s mimesis of music. Even the experience of the beauty of harmony in birdsong can result in the harmony man wants to imitate in his imposition of harmony in the sounds he arranges.

Conclusion: Beautiful Art is Mimesis

    When man sought to impose his mark upon the world around him, the mark he makes must stem from the world around him. The cave drawings the decorated the caveman’s abodes take the form of bison, bears, and whatever else the caveman encountered in his life. What the caveman presumably found beautiful can only be expressed in what he found beautiful in the world.

    When man talks of the beautiful, he can never do so in the purely abstract. He must always resort to imagery drawn from nature or to metaphors drawn from nature. He may speak of beauty as a voluptuous woman, or as an angry sea in a tempest, but he must always speak of beauty in terms of imagery and metaphor. The same is true for much of what man expresses. Love is a kiss or a kindly hand. Justice is a courtroom or a hanging. Nationhood is a flag or a race. The future is a post-apocalyptic wasteland or a utopian space colony. Even the non-corporeal angels must appear to man in the guise of winged men.  

    All this speaks to the embodied nature of man. While man may strive for purity of form, all of his expressions are inevitably drawn to the experiences of the body. The man who cannot sleep counts sheep, not abstract forms that are fully his own conception. This is true of beauty. What man finds beautiful, he found beautiful in nature first. When he creates an art work meant to be beautiful, he indulges in mimesis, attempting to recreate by his own hands and by his own vision that beauty he first saw in nature well before the first glint of the art work first crossed his mind’s eye.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Fatherhood in Pop Culture

I was going through a DVD of Scrubs, Season 8 (bought it to make change for my tricycle ride), and there was something about the 13th or 14th episode* that bothered me. It was the episode wherein protagonist J.D. and his girlfriend Eliott attempt to set things right with his ex-girlfriend, who is dating Eliott's ex-boyfriend. J.D. has a son with his ex, and the reason the couples have to make nice is because of the son.

Near the end of the episode, J.D. tells his ex that when his father and mother divorced, his dad was not around much, ending with a personal oath that he would be a better father to his boy. The first thing that came to my mind was:

The first step to being a good dad is staying with your kid's mother. If he had this personal oath, why in the world is he not married to the mother of his son?

(Plus, Elizabeth Banks makes Sarah Chalke look as plain as a bar wench in a medieval backwater.)

In the end, the best J.D. could come up with is "I want to move here". Yeah, well on your way to becoming a better father there. Torture your kid by making it visibly plain that you prefer someone else to be the mother of your children. Sorry boy, you just popped out of the wrong hole. 

I find this cultural assault on the honor of fathers to be disturbing. It is disturbing in the sense that we are supposed to accept this standard that the "good father" is some permanent adolescent who pays child support and takes the kids during the weekends. (Trust me, Scrubs is not alone in this one.)

J.D. is a horrible father, even in his "redemption". I cannot think of a TV show or movie wherein the father's redemption goes all the way through to the rectification of his gravest mistake: abandoning his wife and kids. Not even the excellent "Taken" can take it that far.

How irresponsible is this, considering that the US now has an illegitimacy rate of 40%? Pop culture has normalized divorce, so now it has backed itself into a corner and must normalize the nasty underside of it. Divorce culture has so flattened the American family that the best they can hope for out of dad is that he "moves near here". Gay marriage is an issue on the periphery (though still worth opposing), because the thing that must truly be banned is no-fault divorce. Or if you feel like shooting for the stars, divorce itself. I cannot even believe that there are segments of Philippine society who think we should follow this same course.

Coincidentally, a couple of episodes before that one I described, a wedding sequence ends with an acoustic version of the Outkast song "Hey Ya", with lines that ought to haunt the self-obssessed generation that is attempting to parody marriage. (You can actually understand the lines in the acoustic version)

Thank God for Mom and Dad
For sticking together
'Cause we don't know how...

***

*Erratum: it was actually episode 16.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Random Thoughts on The Week at Large 4.11.2010

I just saw "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" this week. It was reminiscent of seeing "Tropic Thunder" for the first time. I was laughing my ass off, and I didn't care what the people around me were thinking.

***

That movie is the absolute best movie for little boys (big boys too) to come around since "The Incredibles". It's like "The Wonder Years" without an ironic narration by a grown up version of the kid, which further solidifies it as a movie for boys. They've even managed to resist the need for a coming-of-age "first love" story, which tend to spoil the feel of movies about childhood. The only non-repulsive female (played by a "I'm sure she'll be hot when she turns 18" Chloe Moretz) acts more like the missing ironic narration rather than a love interest, and her appearances are, thankfully, kept to a minimum. This allows the boy leads to remain boys, and it is a fun romp through an imagined childhood.

If you can remember how much fun "Malcolm in the Middle" was, this movie's for you.

***

I've only realized belatedly that it is Palanca season. Time to dust off some of my old stinkers and see how much editing they need.

***

I just got my laptop back from the service center yesterday. All it needed was a new adaptor. If the damn service center had electricity when I got there last Tuesday, the problem would have easily been seen, and I wouldn't have needed to leave my laptop there.

It's the equivalent of a celestial kick to the nads.

***

I wonder if I can wrangle a "date night" to see "Date Night".

The possibility boggles.

***

I tried to look for a list of literary agents operating in the Philippines. I found one at writers.ph. It looked about as legitimate as a listing of mafia doctors. Barely any affiliation, and no listed credentials. Not even a hint of who their clientele consists of or what genres they specialize in selling. The only thing that would make it worse is is they started charging reading fees. Now there's the mark of a true literary charlatan.

And you wonder why publishing here is stagnant.

***

I've always believed that Hipsters are a waste of oxygen. Glad to have that belief vindicated.

This further confirms that subcultures that thrive on misreadings of the word "irony" are condemned to permanent ridicule.

***

The summer semester is about to start. Don't blink or you'll miss it. All of it.

Charity begins at home. So does corruption....

Monday, April 5, 2010

Adventures in Science

Science, ever the intrepid explorer, discovers that the female breast serves a greater purpose than to fuel the fantasy lives of men. 

Clash of the Anachronisms

So, which debauchery of Greek mythology will win? The thoroughly modern notion of a most gods-haunted people wishing to "damn the gods" or the thoroughly modern notion that hubris is man's greatest virtue? If you're willing to watch Sam Worthington painfully attempt to act out an answer, then go waste your money. 

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Random Thoughts on The Week at Large 4.1.2010

I just saw "Blindside" this weekend. It was a good movie. Part of what made it awesome was realizing that Sandra Bullock can be really hot if she just stopped playing roles like she's pretending to be 25 and livin' the dream.

***

I also realized that if we played American Football here, I would be a millionaire. Some pro team would finally have something to do that would fall right into my skill set: being wide, and able to move a bit. That wide guy who blocks for the quarterback? Second-highest paid athlete on a professional American Football team on average, after the quarterback.

***

One of the hardest and most disgusting things about having your mom seeing someone who isn't your dad is the PDA. Even if its minor. Somebody kill me please.

***

Good thing he had his daughter along for the trip. Sure, she was 15, but she talked like she was 25. So, I pretended to see nothing of mom and Mr. Yuck while discussing possible historical frameworks for my upcoming local history of Mandaluyong with a girl who still paints her fingernails blue. That was one kick-ass 15 year-old. Coincidentally, she is home-schooled. Suck on that, public school.

***

While walking around in Shang, I saw a listing of movies now showing and one of the movies was a certain "I Love You Philip Morris". Thinking it was a politically-incorrect ode to the cigarette giant, I went up to see the poster. It turned out to be a gay movie about some fag name Philip Morris or some shit. That was god-awful. What has been seen can never be un-seen.

***

The Stations of the Cross in High Street was wierd. Instead of meditating, you end up doing a different activity per station. Sort of like if the Stations of the Cross were designed by a sorority sister during rush week. Good intentions all around, I'll give them that. I suppose expecting a reverence for tradition in an activity designed by Mag:Net people is like expecting fat kids to run a mile under a minute. Good effort, but dream on.

***

The guy with a guestbook at the end of the Stations was an American. I thought I smelled Manifest Destiny. Turns out, it was just a Krispy Kreme.

***

After watching two seasons of "Chuck", I wanted to change my desktop background from Olivia Wilde to Yvonne Strahovski (there's a sexy name). Then I realized how pathetic this was. A relationship takes commitment.

***

This "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" has potential. I read a few chapters, and it was pretty funny. I'm sure the next series of books, "Wall Scribblings of a Dumb Jock", will be just as funny.

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I also saw a Spanish movie called "Diario de una ninfómana", right after "Blind Side". Don't ask. Anyway, it's the story of this Spanish chick whose grandmother tells her to be herself, despite knowing the fact that "being herself" means "fucking every guy within a ten meter radius". She has tons of meaningless (and surprisingly boring) sex, gets into a marriage that fails, becomes a prostitute, then quits the brothel upon learning her life lesson: "be yourself". Considering that it was "being herself" that got her into that vicious cycle in the first place, the movie should have been titled "Retarded Grandmother Gives Bad Advice".

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That's the last time I watch a Spanish indie flick. You'd think they were copying Filipinos or something. I suppose it is God's punishment for me watching a movie about a girl who strips naked every five minutes, and doing so on Holy Week. Punishment accepted.

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Have a blessed Holy Week, guys! :D