Soccer's Madden Curse

I'm sure the sports and videogame geeks out there are familiar with the Madden curse. Whenever an NFL player appears on the cover of a Madden football videogame, he is bound to encounter catastrophe the next season.

Now, soccer has its own version, thanks to Nike.

Watch this:



Look at the superstars who participated in that commercial (which came out in May) and their World Cup performances afterward.

Didier Drogba: Broke his arm in a friendly against Japan. One meaningless goal as his team gets knocked out in the group stages.

Fabio Cannavaro: Limps through three games as Italy is knocked out by Slovakia (and that really awesome mohawk) in the group stages.

Wayne Rooney: Goes scoreless as England gets murdered by eternal rival Germany in the first knockout stage.

Franck Ribery: Had the shittiest World Cup of those participants who did make it. Participated in the great French team blow-up that has made them the embarrassment of the tournament. Also the ugliest soccer player to be named a star. (Looks like a child molester, and I'd include the soliciting underage prostitutes charges against him if they had occured after the commercial was released.)

Ronaldinho: Didn't even make it to the World Cup. Snubbed by Dunga.

Cristiano Ronaldo: This king of the World Cup douchebags (the commercial portrays him as such) managed one goal in four games and gets shut down by Spain as Portugal gets knocked out at the first knockout stage. I liked Portugal, but Ronaldo was an ass with an atittude problem.

Cameos:

Landon Donovan and Tim Howard: Team USA crashes out ignominously against Ghana in the first knockout stage. Howard concedes two goals and Donovan gasses out in extra time.

Theo Walcott: Didn't even get called up.

Cesc Fabregas: Cesc who? Though to be fair, Spain's still in it at this point, but unless your name is David Villa or Andres Iniesta, you don't get to take credit. Plus, Fabregas has taken the field for all of...what...15 minutes? I get the feeling Spanish manager del Bosque has been briefed about the curse, likely from watching the next guy...

Update: His premature run gets a potential game-winning goal disallowed and his attempt to rebound a shot results in an injured shoulder.

Gerard Pique: Spain's still in the hunt, but still... hehehehe.... poor bastard. Not only was he the reason Spain lost to Switzerland, giving ominous signs for Spain's historic choking, he ends up with two boots to the face and a swift shot to the crotch. Having fun yet, Pique?

Update: While Spain is doing well, his individual performance continues to suffer as he almost gives the game away to Paraguay via a stupid penalty box foul.

I wonder what this curse will be called? The Nike curse? The "Write the Future" curse?

Hehe, "write the future"...

Not Quite Unforseen

Apparently, married women who grow sullen without Edward Cullen tend to make mince meat of their marriages. One more reason to hack off Stephanie Meyer's writing (typing) hand(s).

These two are supposed to be lovers. Yes, Meyer's fans are that creepy.

I guess sparkly vampires really can suck the life out of something, even if its the marriage of some malcontent with a vagina.

The article does get one thing wrong, though. Or rather, one of the quoted "scientists" is wrong. I've never met a man who would turn down sex with his wife over the performance of his favorite sports team. So that analogy is a wash.

"The problem with Socialism is that eventually, you run out of other people's money." - Margaret Thatcher

Kim Jong Il Sucks at Football

Apparently, he's behind the atrocious tactics North Korea displayed in that squash match with Portugal. So much for a propaganda victory.

Hehe, cellphones not visble to the naked eye. I wonder what the little guy will think of next.

Escaping an Upset is Not a "Miracle"

It's funny how the American media is celebrating ther soccer team's 1-0 victory over Algeria.

They escaped being upset by the second-lowest ranked team in their group, and they all think it was USA vs. USSR in hockey all over gain.

Managing to avoid an early exit like Italy is not a "miracle". These idiots should get over themselves. If Donovan was any sort of superstar, this should have been a squash match like Portugal vs. North Korea. The fact that they needed 91 minutes to get it done speaks more "incompetent" than "world beater".

A little perspective goes a long way.

A Tribute to Toy Story 3

Calvin and Hobbes...another fine portrayal of a boy and his toy.

Toy Story 3

Rating:	★★★★★
Category:	Movies
Genre:	Animation

The Pixar Standard of Excellence

When was the last time you saw a movie trilogy that got better with every movie? I can't remember. But next time I am asked that question, I will undoubtably answer "Toy Story".

The first movie was quite good. The second movie was awesome. This third movie is the best of the trilogy. It offers the same sense of grand adventure as the second movie, but offers a final act that both captures a kaleidoscope of emotions and meaning and provide a good and proper final wrap to the entire enterprise. Sure, it is slightly more gag-driven than the second, and considering what the third film is supposed to be, there is little room for further character development (except for Woody), but the last act puts it slightly above the second movie in my opinion. Whereas the second movie's final act alludes to the toys reaching this point, the third fleshes the point out with powerful symbols and emotions.

Structurally, this is the opposite of last year's beautiful "Up", wherein the power of the first ten minutes contextualizes the rest of the movie. In "Toy Story 3", the entire movie builds up the power of its last ten minutes, and those last ten minutes I will carry with me for the rest of my life, just as I would the first ten of "Up".

I originally planned to break this review down into parts, but now I find that I can't. This movie should be seen as a whole, and appreciated as a whole. Every element is perfectly in sync, from the story-telling to the 3D cinematography. This is, by far, the best movie I've seen this year.

And for once, I don't want to spoil it. Go see it for yourself, and be amazed. Pixar is the American Studio Ghibli, and this movie seals the comparison.

When, at the end of the movie, Andy says "Thanks, guys", you will want to say the same. Thank you, Woody, Buzz, and Pixar. Thanks for everything.

Now, I'm going to go and hug my old toys.