Modernize, or die.
However, here is what I will say to them.
Before there were Obama and Lagman, there was Caesar, from Nero to Diocletian.
We held the line.
Before there were disaffected yuppies leaving us over their lattes, there was Julian the Apostate.
We held the line.
Before there was Bishop Spong and his horde of tiny heretics, there were Arius and Nestorius.
We held the line.
Before there were disaffected preachers' daughters predicting our end, there were Luther, Calvin, and Henry VIII.
We held the line.
Before there were pedophile priests and weak-kneed bishops, there were Constantinople and Avignon.
We held the line.
Before there were LGBT bullshit, womyn "priests" and artificial contraception, there were druids, human sacrifice and Moloch.
We held the line.
Before there was modernization, there was Napoleon.
We held the line.
Before there was the desecration of marriage, the destruction of the nuclear family, the bastardization of art and the qualitative reduction of the worth of human life, there was the Dark Ages with the Barbarians at the gates.
We held the line.
And finally...
Before we "bled" members due to our fidelity, we bled actual blood for our faith.
And We. Held. The. Line!
So, join that myopic chorus calling for our end, you faithless vermin. Swell your ranks with the delusional followers of the Almighty Imperial Self. We have weathered every storm and have made the most grievous of errors. And yet, when all the women's studies departments and all the pride parades and all the abortion clinics are but dust and shadows, we will still be holding processions over their crumbling remains. Heaven will outlast you. We will outlast you.
Our "we" extends from two thousand years of saints, sinners and angels, to eternity and beyond. Our divisions are legion, and command heights you can only dream of in that box you have trapped yourselves in. To whom and when does your "we" extend? To Britney Spears and Alfred Kinsey? To Voltaire and his own panglossian naivete? And you purport to tell us that unless we join your turgid little circle, we will be destroyed? We have seen the worst, and you and your petty "research" have said nothing the demons we have walked over in God's good grace have not already said.
We will hold the line.
It may seem increasingly apparent that this is turning in a sort of "Catholic" blog. But, I don't care for the perception. Some things are worth losing street cred over.
Like redemption.
