Wanted: Baggins

I just got an e-mail from the Philippine Tolkien Society with a subject heading that says "James McAvoy as Bilbo Baggins". Being a lazy bum, I rarely read the e-mails, as they may take my soul and lose it in this mighty Interweb thing, so i just looked as it and thought, wow, Baggins can now curve a pebble as not to hit a sour-pussed elven Angelina Jolie while she stands in front of some premium beef.

Morgan Freeman for Gandalf!

Seriously though, sounds like a good choice. Baggins can now brag about having met Idi Amin, who is...like...an African Sauron! Or not.

For My Next Project

An attempt at a full-length play with Shakespearean dialogue about the last pagan Saxon king of England and the Lady of the Lake of Arthurian legend. Yep, that's what I've bitten off. Sometimes, you'll be seeing me chewing.

Dramatis Personae:

Lady of the Lake - named Viviane / Vivian (fuck you, "Mists of Avalon"!), the main character...
King Penda - The last pagan Saxon king, ruled the middle kingdom of Mercia
Prince Peada - Eldest son of Penda, became Christian after marrying one
Cunewise - Penda's wife...I'm thinking of making her a water nymph...meh
Achflaeda - Peada's wife and reason for becoming Christian...must've been hot and holy
Merlin - What, you think I'd forget this guy?

Man, the Saxon names alone sound like their made for "musical theater", if you know what I mean...*wink* (they're gay-sounding)...heck, the bad-ass pagan Beowulf rip-off is one letter shy of being named after Nature's biggest loser (and WWF logo). I might change it...but I'm a stickler for historical accuracy, which is ironic considering that the play is meant to be fantastical. Bollocks.

This Place has Strange Themes

One was called "japanese minimalist"...and it looked stereotypically Japanese and was not the least bit minimalist. You don't plaster a gigantic rising sun there and call it "minimalist". I wouldn't want to see that person's version of "cluttered".